16th June marks the one year anniversary of my distant cousin Don Barriball's death. I refer to him as my uncle, purely out of respect for my elders. I remember the day he was tragically killed in a house fire vividly.
I was heading into work, it was the AirNZ Long Service Award Dinner - I remember doing about 10kms over the speed limit on the motorway and there being a speed camera parked up under the bridge in Highbrook - I freaked out majorly about being caught, at the time I had a van driving really eractically beside me, as it was I never got a speeding ticket from that day. I arrived at work upset, and ended up having to call Drew to calm down.....working a function for my dad's work with alot of his co workers and bosses there was hard, it made me miss him deeply but somehow after the peep talk Drew had given I was able to make it through the whole function - infact I remember one Long Haul Flight Attendant introducing me to so many AirNZ workers, using my name and my father's name...saying how brilliant he was, for creating such a fantastic person as me. Those there who knew my father know what a mark he has made in his job and on the company in terms of programming of their planes and stuff.
It was later on that night that I went into the kitchen, around 11pm or so it was and I smelt a fire, something was burning, but nothing was...which was odd to me it was like the burning smell from paper and wood, just put it down to kitchen smells - though it wasnt your adverage burnt food smell and we didnt have anything like a wood fire burner or anything...not even the tandoori ovens that we have now make such a smell...infact its rare you smell any type of burning/fire smell at my work.
The following morning on the 17th I was woken by my mum who informed me that there had been a fatal house fire that my uncle has been in. I didnt think much of it at the time of her telling me, but it was later that night that it hit me - the grief. I started to have an anxiety attack purely focused on him dying in the fire and if he felt any pain from the flames burning him.....I had just started my exams that day, I had to consult with the University Councellor (it was so that I could have an exemption put in place for impaired performance on my exams), my GP and a friend who was a former fire fighter who had to tell me just what would of happened.
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A year on, my mind doesnt think of him much now - every now and then he comes across my mind and then I stop and think "Oh that's right....he died." Little things make me think of him, not very often though, its amazing how as time goes on people you knew for so long, after they die you forget about them - I dont know whats worse that, or not thinking of them much when they are alive and the day you think "Oh what happened to so and so..." and then...THEN you find out that they have passed away. I found it ironic that the house Simon and his family moved into this year was the house he moved into when he first moved down to Auckland from up north....part of me thinks of him and I feel comfort know that if Simon's parents remain living there and my daughter spends time there at that house she will be safe, guided by his spirit.
With that I sign off with.
2nd December 1953 - 16th June
2010
