RIP Laura McKinley

RIP Laura McKinley

2nd September 1988 - 17th September 2008

To my sweet friend Laura,

It dawned on me today that it has been a year since I spoke to you last, I will never forget this day last year........Never. I keep thinking what did I miss......why didnt I see anything and why didnt you come to talk to me. I keep going back and reading that last convo I had with you, I still find it so hard to this day to think that just 12 hours later you were gone.....and that was my last time I got to speak to you. I keep on thinking why didnt you come talk to me!? I find it all so very hard to believe its real.....sometimes I wonder if you were real...but I know you are...because Ive talked to you...

I never got to met you, but the very short time I knew you will forever remain important to me...apart of me. This past year has been hard, and I have stuck by Cheryl to help her through losing you - her best friend. Ive had no on there to turn to when things have gotten hard with her and stuff....but youd be so proud of her as I am....she's gone through so much and she is still fighting! And she is just blossoming away!

Though I never met you, I know I had an impact on your life in the short time I knew you, and I will always remember that you had me personally mentioned me and thanked me at your Funeral last year.....for caring about you and being there for you.

Sometimes I get so angry at you, this time last year when I found out you were gone - I was so upset.....and then sooooo angry.....all I could think was how weak you became....and with that anger came the big hit for me - the feelings and emotions I went through....were horrible....seeing what they did to Cheryl were one thing...but knowing what she was going through and feeling them was another....but I learnt something....I learnt I couldnt never attempt to end my life again.....and with your sudden departure, I came to realise just the true effect that Teen Youth Suicide has on people...the things I felt and thought and the aftermath I guess....made me see that I couldnt put anyone through that.....my parents, my siblings, my friends and family...my doctor, my lecturers....my co workers....and just everyone....

You taught me a great lesson...and you raise great awareness at the time - you may now be one of those unfortunate statistics.....but its because of that that awareness needs to be made.....and more needs to be done to lower those numbers....I kills me everyday knowing that here in NZ they got rid of Yellow Ribbon Day....but I was fortunate enough to have a Yellow Ribbon given to me at school on the last yellow ribbon day here.....and i always look at it and think of you...infact the day you died...i wore it...

We will never forget you....your daughters will never forget you....we will always love you, as will they....we will always hold close the memories we do have with you and of you....I never got to met you, I never will get to met you....but I knew you, and I always will know you for ever. And I will do EVERYTHING I can to make sure Cheryl grows up into a sucessful and wonderful woman......you need not worry about that....I love her so much, and she knows to never lose touch with me....she knows how much I love her and care for her....you need not to worry!

Look after mine and Cheryl's Angel Bubba....let them know their Mumma's love them very much and that we miss them!

RIP Laura