I had a really bad day on Tuesday - I hit rock bottom, or well feel over into a rock pool or something...Everything has just built up and this semester at Uni has been pretty stress free to be honest, I mean Ive only had one assessment that Ive had to hand in, the rest have all been online, or practical based and a few exams...ive actaully enjoyed this semester...! But just things with Uni, finances with work and other personal things just bult up and my pot lid started rattling and it just all spilled out - and I sadly took it out on a few people, one in particular...but then that pot lid has been sitting on for a long time simmering away and well its reached its boil...and pfft..lol....
I felt horrible a I tried to hide away in a public place - and I ran into a former co worker - one of the chefs whom I use to work with at the Hotel we were working at two years ago, and I was trying so hard to fake being happy but it didnt work on her and she came after me...I wanted to tell her how I was feeling but I couldnt because people were around me and I needed to get out of view from people...and I pulled away and walked off...I have since applogised to her and told her what is wrong..
I also need to say Sorry to Robbie...I really wish I could tell you truthfully about how I am feeling and what is going on, but I dont like burdening you with all my problems anymore - having said that I am here always for you and you have my 110% support for what your doing right now....
I was set straight late in afternoon by Big J....and he said some stuff to me that really hit a heart string...and I ended up not speaking at all to him but just crying...to which he wasnt happy I wasnt replying and I had to state I was on the train (I didnt want to be seen crying on the train...it would have been different if I had my sunnies on lol)
I think the only highlight out of Tuesday was apart from seeing one of my mates from one of my old work places, but watching Videos again in Intro to Hospitality - we were watching one on Virgin Galaxtic's Space Travel ....it seems that is all we do in that class haha...though there is an exam for it!! And I havent a clue how this paper fits in with all of the Diploma...is been pretty boring and we havent done much for it except watch videos and had the odd guest speaker in - thank god that out of all the guest speakers that my old boss wasnt one of them..! I can tell you if I ever do face him at Uni it will not be a pretty lecture to be sitting in!
That and the beautiful sunset I watched while I was on the train home - looking at it and knowing tomorrow will be a lovely day.
ANYWAY
On top of all that my shit day I had, I did have a good day today!
I was woken up by my baby nephew...my sister commented on the fact I hadnt woken straight up when she put him down on me, she said something about how I want a baby so much and yet I wont wake up....instead I snuggled up to my nephew in bed...then woke up as I had not just him but Eddie Bear was stuck in between us...and not just my sister but my mum and my older nephew were in my room too...so we had a bit of Aunty time...and said goodbye and it was off to the doctors for my mum and then to Uni...
I spent the car rides in the middle seat of the mini van with my nephew - as he requested for me to sit next to him...he is such a character...and I love him to bits...as I got out of the car at Uni he was yelling at me going BYE AUNTY!! I said to him Bye MICHAEL!! He then said YOUR FUNNY!! I said I love you Michael and said I love you too Aunty... I then said in return Miss you Mikey...he said to me I miss you too Aunty....he gave me a hug and kiss and then yelled out BYE ALEGATOR.....I yelled back Bye Crocodile...and he waved good bye and all the way around until he couldnt see me anymore and mum had driven past Uni and I had gone in...such an Awesome kid he is at times and I am blown away at his speech and the convos we now have....it was delayed but its there and Im proud!! Next step is getting him to write!!
Speaking of Writing - Robbie you would be amazed and at how much Meggie's writing has come along since she wrote you that letter two years ago with my help!!
I went to class and we sat there - Just the three of us, and the lecturer and her guide dog (no my lecturer isnt blind, though we did ask her on our first day lol....she breed guide dogs and her old girl is a retired bitch) I ended up switching off as I got lost hahah...I will figure out the sums and stuff later, I just need some exercises to work on and then I am fine...though the text book is to complecated to understand...
Once I finish Uni I walked down to Britomart and then decided to carry on walking up to the Viaduct Harbour, I walked as far as where the Vodafone building is...I sat in the sun...and looked out to the harbour just soak the rays and taking in the beauty of the day and watching some guy polishing his super yatch - Still Calm Waters....Blue Cloud Free Sky....Sun and light breeze....I then walked all the way round the viaduct and back up to Britomart where I caught the train home.
The only thing I missed today was my Camera...Ive had my batteries on charge and havent had it with me! I felt so empty...hopefully there will be another nice day next week and i will do the same walk and take photos...
Well enough rambling best get to bed!!
*waves to her wifey*
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